The Lighter Side
Family tree of Vincent Van Gogh
Vincent's crazy aunt: Verti Gogh
His brother, who worked at a convenience store: Stop N Gogh.
His grandfather who came from Yugoslavia: U Gogh.
Vincent's magician uncle: Where-diddy Gogh.
His Mexican cousin: A Mee Gogh.
Van Gogh's Mexican cousin's half-brother: Gring Gogh
Nephew who drove a stage coach: Wells-far Gogh.
A constipated uncle: Can't Gogh.
Vincent's ballroom dancing aunt: Tang Gogh.
A bird-loving uncle: Flamin Gogh.
His fruit-loving cousin: Man Gogh.
Vincent's positive-thinking teacher aunt: Way-to-Gogh.
The bouncing little nephew: Poe Gogh
His sister who loved disco: Go Gogh.
His niece who travels in an RV: Winnie Bay Gogh
I saw you smiling: There ya Gogh!
The Biggest Catch
One Saturday, a man who loved to fish was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." Then he heard it again. He looked in the water and there was a frog. "Are you talking to me?" he asked.
"Yes, I am," the frog said. "If you pick me up and kiss me, I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you've ever seen and be your envied girlfriend."
The man picked up the frog, smiled at it and stuffed it into his pocket.
After more begging and offers, the frog said, "What's the matter with you? Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking frog, that's cool!
One day my husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
After he went to the laundry room, he shouted, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your sweatshirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."